How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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