ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
