Me. At least after what I've been through.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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