it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
please come you make the beer taste better
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
