She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
The ass gains better be worth it
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
