So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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