Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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