theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Green mimosas i think yes
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
