Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
