I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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