Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
