No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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