exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
