Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
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