I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Randomize
