Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
