I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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