just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
