Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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