Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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