so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
