need another drink. this is the easiest way
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
