Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
