Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Randomize
