Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Randomize
