He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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