i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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