That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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