We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
