i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
