I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Randomize
