Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
