Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
