he shaved USA in his pubs
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Randomize
