This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Randomize
