and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Randomize
