Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
