That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
