so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
