if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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