I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
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