Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
