but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Randomize
