I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
