he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
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