I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
