I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
