I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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