you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I am naked and annoyed.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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