mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Small penises have feelings too.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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