I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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