We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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