I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
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