my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
