I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
