yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Randomize
